The Greatest Ron Paul Conspiracy Theory

Weekly Editorial:

I’ve recently read about how the state republican parties are trying to change the rules to eliminate Ron Paul supporters from the ranks of the delegates. Surprisingly (as a Ron Paul supporter) I find comfort in this report. At least the Ron Paul detractors finally admit there may be more than a couple supporters and that they are everywhere.

For the longest time, Ron Paul supporters were believed to be clever gremlin type creatures who created mischief and disappeared, if seen at all. These mythical creatures were rumored to be the creation of one lone internet spammer who lived in his mother’s basement and singlehandedly perpetrated the largest Sanjaya effect on the electorate.

I know the Ron Paul supporter(s) is supposedly the largest group of conspiracy theorist(s) ever assembled, but let’s look at some of the conspiracies assembled about the lone Ron Paul supporter. (Since Ron Paul seemed to be pretty much beyond reproach, conspiracies of this evidently busy supporter abound in large numbers.)

O Politicians were “threatened” in person (even on their front porches) by this deranged Ron Paul supporter.

O Glenn Beck had the “swat team” protect him after a “serious” death threat.

O RP signs were planted everywhere by phantom and holographic supporters. The lone Ron Paul supporter evidently learned from the Federal Reserve and created 10s of millions of dollars in campaign contributions from thin air.

O The Ron Paul supporter was accused of racism. The racist quotes were posted everywhere but the supporter who wrote them was never located or named.

O The RP supporter was blamed for all kinds of mischief ranging from the satirical Fred Thompson forum to any rumor appearing on the internet supporting any and all off the wall conspiracies.

O Two or three Ron Paul supporters were constantly blamed by Sean Hannity for tens of thousands of spammed votes after debates. This clever spammer somehow got around FOX NEWS’ 1 vote limit. (No one has figured out how, yet.) This resulted in Ron Paul winning the debates by the viewers (or viewer.)

However, with all these threats, acts of violence, and other reported mischievous occurrences, the mystery remains: Who was behind it all? I have yet to hear of an arrest made of a Ron Paul supporter who threatened the politician on his front porch. Did Glenn Beck’s swat team ever find the source of the threat? No names have ever been named. Was the mysterious RP supporter behind the myriad of different hoaxes ever confirmed? The one or two conspiracy nut job spammers behind the tens of thousands of post debate polls are still at large to this day.

Now the local GOPs are changing the laws to bar these figments of imagination created by one spammer from going to the GOP convention. This leads me to the question. Who are the true conspiracy nut jobs?


One Response to The Greatest Ron Paul Conspiracy Theory

  1. mel says:

    beautiful! I hope they catch that guy or two. Then it will be fun to watch them try to explain the continuance of the money bombs and signs across the 50 states.

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